tw i mentally snapped. dont read this im horrified at myself
insane hours, unhinged hours, unfulfilled hours, stifled hours, closeted hours, fuckers insist im so ungrateful for all the things that i never wanted. im so materialistic for the only things that can change my material situation for the better. it doesnt matter how many times and in how many ways i say and demonstrate that sitting around and doing nothing is agony. i obviously love to do that and all i want to do is to do that and i love taking advantage of people LMAO FUCKING IMBECILES. im so obviously perfectly capable of continuing with my studies I JUST DONT WANT TO BECAUSE IM LAZY AND IM SOOO SPOILED AND I JUST WANT TO GET EVERYTHING HANDED TO ME WITHOUT MAKING EFFORT AND SACRIFICIES ILL FUCKING KILL BOTH OF YOU WITH MY BARE HANDS ILL BASH YOUR FUCKING HEADS INTO A FUCKING WALL AND RIP YOUR SPINE OUT THROUGH YOUR FUCKING SKIN AND PULL OUT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FUCKING TEETH AAHHHHHHHHHHHHH god. god. god. there is no god. stop thinking about killing them. thats not going to solve anything. thats only going to make everything worse, yes worse than they are now, yes worse than theyve been at the worst of times. its not worth it. its not worth it.