✨ rené | 20 | he/him | ⚧️⚣ | personal chatter of a hopeful romantic | art blog: dv-art ✨
THE THINGS I DO FOR LOVE
THE FUCKING THINGS THAT I DO FOR LOVE
oh my god WHAT. WHAT. WHAT DID I JUST WATCH. AN EPISODIC SLICE OF LIFE SHOW WITH. A DRAMATIC FOUR PART FINALE. I CANNOT BELIEVE IT im going insane. you cant do this to me. EXCUSE ME?? WHO gave you permission to DO THIS TO ME
yeah i cried. i cried because they changed EVERYTHING about the ending. but they changed SO LITTLE but that little changes EVERYTHING ABOUT EVERYTHING. and its SO MUCH BETTER. ASTRONOMICAL ORDERS OF MAGNITUDE better than the book.
i just. suddenly. theres so much more MEANING and HOPE. and THE WORLD IS KIND. and PEOPLE are kind. and they DO care. they care SO DAMN MUCH you dont even KNOWWW cuz you think youre some sort of irredemable wretched monster but THERE IS A WAY BACK. THERES A SECOND CHANCE, THIRD CHANCE, FOURTH CHANCE its NOT over and done.
i didnt ask for this. i just thought. some light fluff and a bit of melodrama. I DIDNT EXPECT to take this show SERIOUSLY. and then it GETS SERIOUS and i dont have a CHOICE anymore.
I LOVE IT
IM JUST GONNA PRETEND LIKE I DIDNT JUST ACCIDENTALYL SEND HER A REALLY FCUING LONG MESSAGE OF NONSENSE STRINGS BC I LEFT THE PHONE FACE DOWN ON YM DESK ARE THE POWERS THAT BE MOCKING MEEE THATS WAS SO FUNNY I CANT EVEN GET MADED.... already apologized already anyway.
so let me break this voice msg down: 1) therapist gets 1 session moneys 2) secretary sends me a link to pay 3) the video call session happens.
if i want this, 1) i tell the secretary lets set up an appoint ment. 2) she tells me the days and times.
if i want to talk to therapist about the therapy itself, the number she gave me, thats her number. secretary handles all the clerical stuff. naturally, but she says that just in case, bless her.
THEN, this is the impoertant part. she says SHE's gonna send me all the info about payment and payment methods, and I tell her, do i want the appointment in that day and time.
ITS SIMPLE. BUT IT HAS ITS STEPS... OKAY.
WHY DID YOU SEND ME AN AUDIO?? AN FUCING AUDIOO??? YOURE KILLKIN ME DANIELA. IM DROWNING IN MY OWN SWEAT OVER HERE AND YOURE LKE "YEAH THIS SEEMS LIKE THE TYPE OF PERSON WHO CAN HANDLE AN AUDIO RECORDING OF MY ACTUAL HUMAN VOICE WITH ITS BOTTOMLESS COMPLEXITY AND NUEANCE". OHIHGH GOD WELL LETS. LERS HEAR IT. NOT LIKE I HAVE A CHOICE....
AAAAHUFIDHFHFSDHDSJF I REPLIED. I replied but it was a QUESTION so she has to ANSWER IT AND I HAVE TO READ THAT AND REPLY TO THAT BUT ITS okayyyyyyy because i already took that FIRST STEP (SEONCD? THIRD???) so the fucking anxiety and overexcitement is gradually very slowly wearing off and im handling this better by the second so SUC ON THAT. UCK ON THAT. IM DRINKING SO MUCH WATER
#NO FUCKNIG WNDER I CANT FUCKIGN I CANT TALK TO PEOPLE #IM JUST SWAPPING CLERICAL MESSAGES WITH A HEALTH PROFESSIONAL AND ITS THE END OF THE FUCKIGN WORLD #OH GOD @ ALL MY FRIENDS AND PEOPLE THAT ARE NICE AND I WANT TO TAL TO PLEASE FUCKING HOLD ON #IM TRYING TO FUCING STOP THIS MADNESS #therapyquest #caps tw3 notes
SHES PROBABLY BUSY ITS 3 PM ON A WEDNESDAY SHE MIGHT NOT EVEN LOOK AT HER PHONE UNTIL LIKE FRIDAY OR THE WEEKEND CALM DOWN. calm down. its fine. you already sent her what you wanted to say already anyway. BUT WHAT IF SHE NEEDS MROE CLARIFICATION, no shes not gonna. shes not gonna need that. shes like. a professional. its fine. it really is fine. but i HATE having an dead phone hbhhuyuyhgufngdenfsxdbe everythings going okay. right on track. right on it. right on the way to therapy town with a rlly trained and experienced person and friendly and approachable. oh yeah. oh yeah. yeah. dont worry. youll probably be able to turn your phone on again in like the evening. no more cut off incommunicado bs.
im p sure these kids were involved with the power ranger fanclub that this was for. maybe members who won like a prize or something. what im saying is, good for them. they look like its a fun time for superfans. but i personally wouldnt have wanted to be part of that historic moment.
cause i just know that i wouldve tried to follow alpha around wherever he went and the director wouldve been like "nonono now you have to pretend to make cookies" and i wouldve been like "BUT I WANNA BE WITH ALPHA I WANNA BE NEXT TO HIM HES MINE" and the person in the costume wouldve been like "can you take care of this? im not working overtime for a christmas thing nobodys gonna watch"
and years later i wouldve realized that in my devotion to my crush-before-i-knew-what-a-crush-was i had made my robotic beloved kinda uncomfortable and with that knowledge i couldve never stomached to watch the special again. so its a good thing
CHIRSTMS LASERSSS HES SO COOL HES THE COOLEST ROBOT EVER
ideologies and surprise red scare bs on a textbook
classical liberalism: john locke: "the inalienable right to life, liberty, and property"; thomas jefferson: the "natural aristocracy" of talent, ambition, and industry justifies the existence of class; "liberal economics" is just capitalism. throw this one in the trash.
modern liberalism: only wants to "reform" capitalism, not replace it with anything better. still protecting that private property. a glossy paintjob of humanitarianism on top of the decrepit ruins of capitalism. useless.
neoconservatism: quote by charles krauthammer. creepy declarations of bloodthirst for "existential enemies". it doesnt go into much depth. but i know that conservatism is always bs. get out of here.
modern conservatism: "a free-enterprise economy" aka free market good cause freedom good. "human nature" disorganized and violent, existing law and tradition good. oh the guy who said that was a complete royalist. pathetic lipservice to slow and incremental social progress to discourage revolution. preserve the "wisdom of the past" (MAGA). assimilating into strong institutions like family and church repress the "selfish and irrational" impulses of individuals. traaash.
libertarianism: just crank deregulation all the way up. hurray capitalism. do you really need all these separate names if its all the same shit??
neoconservatism: war pigs who hate commies and steal oil from iran.
fascism: aight nothing new here lets just skip it
communism: wow its the only one that mentions class I WONDER WHY... though calling the dissolution of class and seizing of the means of production a "dictatorship of the proletariat" is uh. an interesting choice.
socialism: also want to take down capitalism but are unwilling to get violent and think that peacefully using the existing tools put in place by capitalists is gonna work. also still want a government whos the one making decisions. flimsy. halfway. weak. useless.
its like the weirdest thing to read all this and a comparative chart to find out Are You Conservative, Moderate Or Liberal? they keep coming back to how much "the government" should or shouldnt be involved with "the people" like thats two completely separate and disparate things, which is just the completely wrong mindset. who do you think ends up in that mythical place, "the government", "the (only) ones in power"? thats right. normal regular people. well not really. but therein lies the fuckery.
oh here we go now. "the US has a vital continuing interest in promoting democracy and economic reform in Russia" yeah sure buddy. "Why Communism Collapsed" proceeds to describe a dictatorship like it was the marxist ideal come to life and oooh!! look where it got THEM!! and it all started with that pesky proletariat taking down the monarchy. red scare!! RED SCARE!!!
tired of this shit. how did it take me so long to realize this is an american textbook. where else would you find such shameless proper gander? AAAHJ NEVERMIND SPOKE TOO SOON i just needed to get to the last paragraph of this fucking chapter.
Capitalism does not ensure democracy; some capitalist nations are authoritarian. But capitalism is a necessary condition for democracy. All existing democracies have free-market economies, and no communist system is a democracy.
Above all, the communist system denies individual freedom, political pluralism, and democracy. Force, repression, and indoctrination can be effective over many years. But at some point, the universal human aspiration for personal freedom and dignity emerges to challenge the communist order.
YUP SOUNDS LIKE IRREFUTABLE FACTS TO ME
talk to a friend on the phone when you feel like shit DO IT
I DID IT AGAIN and i even talked to her about how hard it is for me to talk to people and it was GREAT and im drowning in endorphins i was spiralling SO HARD if i hadnt impulsively pressed the call button i wouldve hit ROCK BOTTOM but I DID I PRESSED THE CALL BUTTON AND i CALLED HER and at first i couldnt even come up with words or make sounds cause i was CHOKING on my EVERLASTING ANGUISH but she was so patient so so so patient that she waited until i could say anything and i told her to talk to me abt herself first cause i needed to hear her heavenly voice so bad and know about her so bad and i know that its always a good time to lend an ear so I LENT AN EAR and then it slid naturally into just about anything we talked abt everything and it took me a LONG time to finally tell her abt what had just happened to me that was fucking me up SO bad that i needed to talk to someone (not that you need something fucked up to be happening to talk to your friends). and she was all understanding even without being able to really relate to my situation (which, thank god) and then we talked abt more of everything, which is great cause i wouldnt have wanted it to end at that point just like "yup that was fucked up but im here for you" no. and we talked and we talked and we talked. and i listened to her. and she listened to me. and my heart filled with love. and friendship. and love. MY ARM IS SORE
can i just ask whyyy the virtual classroom has an online user tracking feature?? what the fuck is the utility of advertising to everyone on a neat little banner that THERES SOMEONE CHECKIN OUT THE PAGE AND ITS THIS GUY CHECK IT OUTT like can we stop with this surveillance??
OH SHIT its 1 pm i have to make food... was too busy making cool as fuck art!!! yeah baby you heard me its a full pager right here A4 reference sheet that im gonna post!!!!! ok its in pencil but after i ink it and scan it and color it im gonna post it!!!!!! WATCHOUT ITS COMINGGN
the rose of versailles viewing experience
ep 1: very dramatic and knightly vibe, nice
next few eps: kinda vapid just watching these royals? more oscar pls
ep 6: okay so they're *not* ignoring the real gritty world outside of versailles. so interesting
ep 11, 19:30: OOOH FUCK THEY WENT THERE
oh nvm the call is cancelled it'll be happening on thursday so i got ALL FRESHENED UP AND HYPED UP FOR NOTHING-
no. not for nothing. im fresh and that makes me feel good by itself. so...
ill boil water to make a hot bottle, then blissfully nap till noon, have lunch and do the readings for this evening. yeah
THEY BROUGHT BACK OUR DUMPSTER... THANK you collectors... im not sure why it was taken away but i know it wasnt their fault
positively TORN between posting everyone's character sheets so you can all see how COOL and AMAZING they all are and keeping them shrouded in MYSTERY until BIG WHIMSICAL REVEAL
[ID: An animated gif of Captain Kirk from Star Trek pathetically pounding the floor in frustration.]
me: yeah i know how castles work. i know what they look like. i know.
me 2 minutes later: but can you PUT a ROOM in a TOWER... or is it JUST a defense thing?? can you make. a tower. COZY. or is that just FAIRYTALES