kissa you

✨ rené | 20 | he/him | ⚧️⚣ | personal chatter of a hopeful romantic | art blog: dv-art

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day 36 my last update was 4 days ago?? fuck dude. if theres one thing ive learned from this is that i dont know what kind of person it takes to be able to journal every single day including periods of extreme emotional distress. like... how do you make words come out of your brain. how do you even remember that journaling is a thing that youve been doing. i just dont have that level of clarity when im really really really really going through it and it kinda makes me think that it may not be just some sort of crippling anxiety that ruins my attempts to stay in touch w people. anxious thinking is what keeps me from going through the motions of heyy sorry i blacked out of existence for a bit but im trying to do this again. but i dont think its anxious thinking that makes me black out in the first place. i think its just that when im fucked up to hell i cant do shit, whether thats communicating or just typing words risk free commitment free accountability free into my mini echo chamber. just food for thought. i did make some other posts in the meantime. a couple of fleeting thoughts and feelings in the middle of question marks and sea foam. anyway. i dont think these meds are doing jack shit! i think its just the coffee. but thats not a terrible discovery. caffeine might just be my placeholder. life saver until better things come to pass



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