ramblings of a hopeful romantic | 🎨 art blog: divo.waterfall.social | ☕ commissions: ko-fi.com/rdivo
MARCH 16? ITS BEEN 6 DAYS HOW DO I FUCKIN be kind to yourself. be kind to yourself. be kind to yourself like you are for others. would i have a problem? no. and they know. so they dont either. they dont hate you theyre just chilling. theyre chilling. chill with them. chill with her. chill. home. youre home. chilling at home. chilling at home together. enjoying each others presence. together. yeah.
WAKE UP YOURE REAL AND THEY LOVE ME
im mentally repeatedly falling thru the floor into a soaring blue sky i need to reply to my friends messages
dude ok. i was in the middle of writing a post about how i wish there was more naturalistic voice acting in animation bc improv comedy is not the only way to use that potential. like how much more flavorful can a casual conversation or any dialogue involving strong emotions be if the characters are not reciting some perfectly composed speech punctuated with few if any strategic filler words?
and then i was like wait a minute. why does any irregular speech pattern have a bunch of connotations associated with it, and they're almost always negative?
think about it. "too many" or any filler words are for annoying teenagers, smug and lazy and dumb people. stuttering means you're nervous, aka a socially awkward loser and/or a suspicious liar hiding something. awkward pauses, slurring, stumbling over your words or mispronunciations are all a statement of your trustworthiness and intelligence. dont even get me started on non-standard grammar and dialects because holy sociopolitical implications batman.
and then i realize i'm not even talking about media anymore, these are all real life assumptions that people have while interacting with flesh human beings who are in all likelihood not trying to present themselves as unintelligent or untrustworthy, it's just that making the mouth noises to live in a society is a bit of an ordeal.
and you know what doesn't help? media that constantly reinforces assumptions about irregular speech patterns that make people treat others as less than.
what i'm not saying: the concept of scripted dialogue is evil because all writers have a hidden conformist agenda or are complicit in it!!
what i am saying: can we all just be more patient and not judge people when they talk in "weird" or "annoying" ways but are otherwise just trying to exist? also i would love to hear more naturalistic voice acting bc variety is the spice of life
look at this glorious WIP
ok now that youre done looking does anyone have any tips to make the background look more textured/finished?? ideally something that doesnt involve painting any more tiny little windows. im all eyes 👀
okay i just had a great idea hold on
*reckons with forces*
got harassed again. okay.
its not self aggrandizing if youre already grand
i just. should stop trying to pick my brain in search of the secret magic reason why i struggle with sleep because there isnt one. okay. its all obvious tangible shit that is there in plain sight and its just infuriating that i cant fix it rn (hmmm why does that sound familiar?)
as a rule, the first fuckin thing i have to do when u wake up at any hour is stave off the feelings that are the opposite of zest for life, if you know what i mean. so like is it even possible to remotely look forward to a daily goddamn existential fight? how tf do you look forward to that? throwing petals or music or anything around it doesnt fuckin make it disappear!! god. fuck. every day. every single fuckin day in existence is like this. NO it doesnt get better. not for now. not yet. oooh my god it just drives me crazy. dont give in to despair. im okay with existing. im okay with being up and about in this blue fuckin ball. nary a despair to be found there. but getting started with that? starting it? holy shit. im lucky. im blessed by the gods or by myself or by something because if i didnt have the monumental mental fortitude that i have to deal with this shit every single time this fuckin planet does a gay little spin and the sun comes up on the east, i would not be writing an incoherent rant about it. the absolute undying strength that i have to be able to get pissed off about this and just air my grievances on social media and then forget about it and watch anime instead of falling apart and getting jokerified is awesome in the traditional sense of the word.
your wormst nightmare
🎁 giveaway prize for @80roxy08 !! thank u for your patience. and uh i hope you like it. very good creature
im going to fucking sleep goodnight!!
max and ruby lyrics
max and ruby 🐰🐰
(max and ruby)
ruby and max 🐇🐇
(ruby and max)
honestly i dont see anything wrong with constantly listening to/watching things because if i sit in silence for too long ill start jittering bc my body and mind are getting ready for imminent danger. like yeah i know the entire second part of that is a shitty thing that needs to be fixed but right now i dont haaaave the Things to fix it. this is how i deal with it temporarily and its not hurting anyone. i dont even put on triggering things in the background. this is just the best i have rn and it wont always be like this. progress. think progress 😔
📣 hottie coming through 📣
*gets harassed* 🙁
im uncomfortable, in pain, and hungry but i took a pill, im about to eat, and im gonna heat up water for all my hot water needs
dont give in to despair my love ❤️
"when life gives you lemons" thing is extra funny as a russian because in russian slang, "lemon" means "a million roubles" or generally "a million" of money.
so, when life gives you lemons, it's actually a really good thing.
anyway im making lemonade again.babushka
*pokes myself with a stick* hello? anyone there?
i dont know if i already made a post abt this like yesterday and i dont remember but if i did it bears repeating that ive been painting this worm for a long time and i love it but i cant wait to be done with it. im done for today
I made a video flipping through my photo magazinenaiad
It's unlisted so you'll need the link to view it! Let me know if you have any problems with it. The back cover in the video has a bar code sticker but that's actually removed before I ship them out I just forgot to remove it for the video and I didn't notice it was still in the video until after I had already removed it and shipped it out lol.
Here's a link to the listing if anyone is interestedEventually I'd like to do some other themes but I'm not sure what I want to do yet and I'd like to be able to take some more photos first so I have more variety to choose from but if anyone has suggestions for future works or something you'd be interested in please let me know! I'm willing to do some custom works for people
anyway yall ive been gone for Forever bc i have the depression so rb/comment and tell me ur news !!!! good or bad i wanna hear whats happenin in ur life
ill go first ig im tryna get part time work in admin and i have become unreasonably obsessed with youtube commentary videosthoughts
love to see u here again! im just drawing. it rains a lot like every day and i dont sleep well bc theres Noises. but art is life 🏃🏀
i watched every movie directed by miyazaki hayao ✈️ let's gooo
1) the castle of cagliostro
i would die for the castle of cagliostro. i would do unspeakable things for this movie. this movie was made exclusively for me. if i get married it'll be to someone that lets me play fire treasure for our first dance. period.
2) nausicaä of the valley of the wind
i cried because i was scared of the bugs but also because i love the bugs and i hate war. so scary, so beautiful, so emotional. it hits hard when so much media is made by cowards who won't even condemn imperialism. and nausicaä is an icon. i won't watch it again for a long time because it's too big and epic and intense to handle.
3) castle in the sky
this is the second funniest one after cagliostro. so many scenes are burned into my mind: little boy with pigeons playing the trumpet, extended goofy street boxing match, brightly colored locomotive meets a military tank painted in uncomfortable metallic detail, little girl feeling intense compassion for a robot without treating it like a living thing, and of course, fuckoff giant magical tree my beloved.
4) my neighbor totoro
ok. this one didn't make me cry. i can totally get how it impacted a lot of other people more, i just don't personally relate to these things. it's just really cozy and full of childlike wonder and appreciation for rural tokyo. totoro is the absolute most animal. oh and i almost forgot! more big trees!!
5) kiki's delivery service
i cried at one specific moment that has very personal meaning, but the rest of the time i just had fun with the baking and the butch painter in the woods and the amazing flying bicycle scene. i don't 100% get what was going on in kiki's head when she would suddenly lose interest in things, but that's probably the point and i prefer wondering about it than listening to characters monologue about their thoughts.
6) porco rosso
i love it. this is one of the more adult-oriented ones and it's about plaaanes. where else are you gonna find an adorable swim team of baby girls, an old hollywood mafiosa speakesy singer, an army of italian women and girls who can build you a mean plane, and a teenage genius engineer who's not afraid of the secret police? great stuff. it also made me cry only once, but it was at a much more obviously emotional moment that is so beautiful and sad and haunting and. yeah.
7) princess mononoke
this is a masterpiece of animation that starts and ends with bloody red worms from hell audibly writhing and squirming as they split open cursed skin, and if just reading that made you a bit sick, you might not want to witness it in HD. but apart from that. um. big animals are great. it has themes of anti-capitalism, anti-imperialism, feminism, whereas some other HACKS couldn't even fully develop one of them. i love the deer god's face. and sen's character animation is impeccable.
8) spirited away
delightful. i will protect chihiro with my life, i love her so much. i prefer the first part of the movie just because it's spooky and exciting not knowing the rules of the spirit world and how dangerous it is. there's one shot of a vulture creature with an old woman's face silently circling the kids and it scared the shit out of me. i wasn't scared of the No Face dude because he just looks like a cute blob to me, except for the first moment when he... does his thing. anyway the ending is the most wholesome thing ever. and i want to go to the ghost resort when i die.
9) howl's moving castle
i don't remember if this one made me cry but it's definitely the most confusing one. none of the others had me lost as to why characters were doing things at a particular time or in a particular way. like i get the big picture and the individual little moments but there's something in the middle that i'm missing. maybe if i watch it again someday i'll get it. i gotta admit i was a little disappointed in the end when the magical scarecrow turned into a bishie. howl was already there to fulfill that role. but this is a good long story about a found family of misfits and dodging the draft.
i watched this once years ago but i didn't need to see it again because it's vivid in my memory. i really liked it. ponyo is a precious little magic baby, her friend is so good to her, the mom is a hero for driving through that hurracaine or storm that was horrifying, when i first saw ponyo's dad i couldn't stop laughing. he looks like howl going through a midlife crisis. and the theme song is catchy as hell.
11) the wind rises
this was gonna be miyazaki's last movie and it totally lives up to the hype. there's no magic or supernatural forces, no castles, no princesses. just life and love and earthquakes and world war 2. with hardcore airplane engineering and beautiful fantastical dream and daydream sequences. it's a male-centric story, but by this point this guy has proven that he can write women competently so there are no weird vibes. i also appreciate that the one character with light eyes has pointedly detailed irises. that's what you people look like to us with your baby blue baby green baby velour optical madness, but it's not often represented.
i jest. i don't hate people for their eye color. that would be silly.
ive got a new signature now 💃